Saturday, December 15, 2018

The Dislike of Change

Okay, am I the only one who HATES change?  Some could argue I get stuck in my ways, which is not always a good thing - fair point.  But, I am human, so that's what I know....and I like it.  Going to something I am unsure of from a new job, new experience, new friends, etc?  It can fill me with anxiety.  So, what to do?  Well, my first instinct is to complain about it.  That works wonders, well, not at all.  It is certainly easier!
In reality, we are always changing but just not really noticing all the time, or at least not acknowledging it all the time.  We tend to get stuck on the big changes or experiences that make the biggest impact on us.  The biggest for me was the whole cancer experience.  Yeah, that can pretty much change everyone.  My life changed, my body changed, my mental status was basically destroyed.  Everything I knew at that time basically turned to dust.  So, what to do?
At first, I had no clue so I just ran from it.  It took me years to realize that didn't work, but was actually hurting me and more so, changing me for the worse.  My second idea, after a long time of running, was latching onto the word acceptance.  I was going to continue down the road of nowhere fast, if I didn't accept or at least start the acknowledgment process.  I started seeing a therapist to help me get with those words.  They are not easy to open yourself up to on your own.  Lastly, I gave myself a bit of a break.  I thought I could wake up one morning and be like - "Hey, I love change and everything that has happened to me!!"  I beat myself up constantly because I was so frustrated that I was not changing overnight.
Bottom line is change is inevitable.  Self care can be a huge key to that acceptance.  Give yourself a break.  Whether it is a caner diagnosis or something else - change is happening and your reaction to it is the beginning of a good CHANGE that can happen in your life.

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