Tuesday, December 27, 2016

A Week of 2016

Is anyone else just a tad bit panicked?  Less than a week of 2016 is left?  Wow!  Yes, I say this every year at this time.  38 last week's of the years I have lived, and I am shocked every time it creeps up.  Okay, so what to do with this week?  I tend to get all excited about how I am going to make the upcoming year the best year ever. Then about a week into that new year, I am back to my usual ways.

I am not going to go with the usual resolutions this year.  I am not going to focus on losing weight, running everyday, saving money, etc.  Those things will always be there whether I make them a resolution or not.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't.  I am going to continue to try and eat well, exercise, loose a few pounds and be careful with my money.  But what do I really want for 2017? Well, here are some thoughts.

  1. My word of choice for 2017 will be ACCEPTANCE.  This past year was Courage and it did well for me.  I first needed the courage to wake up and see what was happening with me.  What was I hiding from myself?  What emotions did I need to see I was afraid of?  Courage was step one.  Granted, I still run from a lot, I am still afraid and I still have anxiety, but I am a bit more open to it.  Can I say what I think will happen with ACCEPTANCE yet?  Nope, hence why I am willing to explore it for 2017.  
  2. Write, write, write!!  My goal is to get back to really getting my thoughts on paper.  This works!!  I will share what I want and keep private what I don't.  Plain and simple.  The few times here and there I write in my journal clears my mind and seriously makes a difference.  Most of what I write I can't share (sorry all) but it gets it out of my brain, on to paper and allows for the full release.  
  3. Getting me some mindfulness!  I am smack dab in the middle of John Kabat-Zinn's book Full Catastrophe Living and it is beyond eye opening.  It's a huge book so if you pick it up, tell yourself to divide it up over time so you are not overwhelmed but it is a game changing book.  If I can master this idea of mindfulness, I just might be on the road to full ACCEPTANCE of everything about me.
And on that note, my last week of 2016 will be spent enjoying the rest of the holidays, celebrating the year and looking towards 2017.  Happy New Year!1

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Stop The Beat Up - NOW

When you read that title, what came to mind first?  There is no right answer.  Just think about it for a minute.  Then, I'll tell you why I wrote it.....pausing for you to think.....Okay, carry on now with reading my thoughts.  I wrote that title because I was sitting here thinking about how long it has been since I blogged and I was beating myself up for it:
  • What would people think about this blog since it has taken so long between posts?
  • Would they remember the blog existed when I wrote again?
  • Would people still be interested in what I had to say?
  • What would they think about The Dragonfly Angel Society - Cancer Survivorship?
  • I should have had a schedule ahead of time to make sure there was no lag time between blogs; how could I let it slide?
Those were some of the lovely thoughts that rolled through my mind over and over and over again.  It was just one beating after another.  I almost said forget it.  I am not going to write.  I am not going to bother trying to pick up the blog again and see where my words might take me.  Then I stopped just as my fingers were about to close out the computer screen.  

STOP!!  JUST STOP!!!  I pushed those mean thoughts out of my mind and started asking myself non-judging questions - Did you ever think that maybe life just happened?  So, you didn't have a perfect writing and blogging schedule all timed out perfectly to follow.  So what?  At this point, I allowed all the thoughts to swirl and simmer in my mind.  I let them just be and i began to type anyway.

I changed my focus on the negatives and tried to push forward to the positives.  I am writing my thoughts now, right?  I'd like to work on getting my thoughts in order to share in the blog a little more frequently but if I don't?  Then I don't.  End of story.  I will not beat myself up.  I will not allow my thoughts to overcome me.  I will move to the next day and if that includes writing, or blogging or sitting on the couch watching TV, then guess what?  That's what the day includes and I will enjoy.

Shouldn't this go for all aspects of life?  Well, the short answer is an obvious yes.  Way easier said than done.  I am sure you are thinking "easy for her to say."  There are tasks that every one of us has that we have procrastinated on.  Everyone has tasks and to do lists and ideas galore they want to tackle.  Stop beating yourself up on the ones that you haven't finished in the timing in which you expected to complete them.  Stop listening to the negative thoughts.  You will get those tasks done when the timing is right.  You will get those ideas out and into the world when you are ready.  In the meantime, stop the beating.  Maybe life just got in the way.  Enjoy it.

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